Seize the day

I've tried. And I did, most of the times. However, the heartbreaks sometimes just happen. I've probably passed the stage of questioning the whats, whens, and whys. I can not wasting my time while abandoning my responsibility to my family. I just happen to not knowing how else I should manage things. If all the processes should end up with clear and firm results then I failed right away. Was that because I wasn't effective, or had not tried hard enough, or merely because it is already my limit  (then I can't expect more of myself)?

I am not saying that I think it's all craps. And I wanna believe it everytime I say that it'll all be paid. And I still wanna believe that this is just a moment when I can learn more about myself.