Seize the day

Darrel Rivers. Carrie Bradshaw. Casey Smith. Feti. Rory Gilmore. Dee. Miranda Risang Ayu. And many other figures who never leave my mind. One word: writers. I should have walked myself through that path. I didn't for an ugly reason. I didn't follow my dream because I was afraid I might not achieve that. I hate to say it but I am a coward! I travel so far pursuing something I may not like and enjoy for the rest of my life. Why didn't I think about that? Was it for the money and proud? I guess yes.

Should I turn my boat the other way? I just don't know. Like a company without a strategy, I let myself drawned by the river. Hoping I would find the sea I could swim in without a stroke.

Here I am. Feeling happy and fulfilled. In a place I love the most with the one I love the most, too. The library. Kaylia. The library happens to be our common favorite place for different reason. I love to read; anything other than text books and journals. Books can take me as far as out of our milky way. Books can rescue me from boredom and frustation, from pain and exhaustness. And being around thousands of books I can choose, I doubt I could be more satisfied. Time is the only restriction that pull me away from that feeling a little bit further each day.

She loves it her way. Other than books she can barely read herself, she loves the play room, the inducing array of CDs she always insists to borrow without even being watched at home, and the feeling of independent whenever she checks the books out at the express check station. It is the place she can do anything with minimum complains from me. Furthermore, as the weather is getting windy and colder, we usually have a small cup of hot chocolate and sometimes chips. All she considers luxury.

Well, there is so much I want to read as much to write here. It's been a while since the summer semester over in June that I missed this page so much. Finger crossed, I'll post things just to remember that in the last 4 months a lot of big things happen. Even though only small things counted as my doing.

How many friends do I have? How many of them still keep in touch with me? How many of them always in my heart and mind? Not too many, I guess. I didn’t plan it that but I won’t claim that I have many friends in this world. Girls to boys ratio?  Approximately 4 to 1; I got along well with girls (I don’t have too much complaints) as well as with ‘some’ boys.  

I never thought about gay guys. Shamelessly, I once wished that this will make things less complicated. Ika said that gay guys are girls' best friends in the world. I still wanna believe that best friend's things are free from gender issue. It's supposed to be, at least.

I miss them all now. I miss ones who live and who’s waiting for me up there. I think I grew up with them and to some extent, they gave me more influence than I thought before. They are my role models of dos and don’ts. I love them. I just pray that they’re safe somewhere, happy, and as kind-hearted as I can remember.  

This week was full of news of any kinds. Bad news, good news. Hopes and tears. Sunny and rainy days.

I just read Mbak Diah's email about Mbak Yuni's latest condition. Mbak Yuni is suffering from breast cancer; she's had chemotherapy for 5 times and there are 5 more. She's in pain. I remember Mbak Yuni as a very nice, warm-hearted lady. She was always there when somebody was in trouble. She always smiled and comforted people around her. I still can feel her gentle touch on my neck and shoulders when I had morning (and all day) sickness while I was pregnant with Kaylia. It's been a year since I heard that she is fighting the desease. I pray for her; may Allah SWT bless her and give the best for her. Think I will visit her tomorrow at the hospital.

Tonight I came to my boss' daughter wedding party. It was a big party and I met almost everyone from my office. I met my ex boss; he asked about McCombs and Eli Broad's admissions. I said that I just had the interview with McCombs' alumni yet I heard nothing about the decision. He replied that Indiana sounds OK (of course, it is OK....).

Other news, Mbak Riskun is likely to accept scholarship offer from Temasec. She will pursue a graduate program in Wealth Management area in Singapore. Good for her, she said. I heard she is happy with this chance. Although she's also expecting good news from Minnesota, she's positive that Singapore will be the best solution for her and her family.

Fina will fly to Germany to fulfill an invitation from a Germany's foundation in which she once involved when she was in college. Fina will take a 3-week course on IT. Cica called me to play in our basket ball game vs BRI. I wanted to but I lacked of energy to do things I wanted. Not only time has restricted me. Think that I'm getting old way too fast.

After the interview at Starbucks with Mr. Yuma Maris (I'll tell about it later), I went to the office and met my fellows. We were to help Atik prepared her interview with Johnson's alumni in Singapore this Saturday afternoon. So much for an interview; but not too much for her dream of going to Ithaca. I believe that she would be fine. No worries about her; with such a brain, she can get anything she wants. Just a matter of priority for her, I guessed.

Ika and I haven't decided about the apartment. There are several left with 3 bedrooms + 2 or 1.5 bathrooms : Woodbridge, Rollingridge, and the Fields. I joined the MBA class of 2009 Yahoo Groups and read that the apartment searching is not as easy as people might think.

Today I had a completely bad day. The baby sitter had been so nasty and awkward for the past three days. I noticed that she's having cough but not until last week I saw her being so rough on my kid. My kid was, urrhg..., how else could I describe her, a little bratpack who destroys things, disobeys everything and everyone, and also irritates people with her scold words. Oh my God, I am asking forgiveness and the true meaning of patience...

Initially, I wanted to warn the baby sitter with stiff sentences because she had ignored me, too. But in the morning I came up with other method. When I was about to leave in the morning, I simply touched her shoulder and said that I really appreciate her dedication in taking care of my child when I am out. She immediately bursted into tears yet said nothing. I added that if she needs to rest for a day or two, we can arrange that. She didn't reply. At the afternoon, when I called my kid, she still preserved the nasty behavior by replying in short sentences (without the smiles, of course).

At the office, things weren't not as smooth as I expected. The procedure is rather complicated and I had to explain it again and again to my Administration boss. As a result, I forgot to hand the financial support statement inquiry to Retno. I just remembered it when I was already in busway. Although the buswas was OK, I had to wait for 20 minutes for Kopaja 605A. I ended up sitting with broken breath in front of Kada's class.

Microeconomics class? Another horror. Not that I couldn't follow the material but I guess I am too much influenced by all unfavorable situation I had before the class. Kada's class ended with more material to read thoroughly if I plan to get the most benefit from this program.

Compare to Peter's life during his fall term in MBA, this is just nothing. I am aware of that. One of my best friends also told me to relax. He said that I have a perfect life. I know, I should be thankful for that. You have a family, a smart princess, and up coming Kelley experience, he said. He's right. Thanks, pal... for cheering me up. You did a good job.

Since I’m not at all coffee-freak and have no definition about any thing related to coffee, I bungy jumped myself from my chocolate factory tower freely to some places people often call them cafés. It started about two weeks ago when Dave and Emily shifted the schedules of their classes downward. We start earlier at 8 am and stop at 2.30 pm. I minimize bringing any Calculus and Statistics home. So, I need a nice and quiet place to sit and do my homework and quizzes until 5 pm.

Then I begin to ask for cappuccino day by day. I believe cappuccino has, though a mild, relationship with ‘the real coffee’ in their family tree. So I think I am exactly on the Introduction chapter in a coffee handbook. I try to be consistent; Pizza Hut, the Coffee Bean, Cheese Cake Factory, or Citrus Café: always cappuccino. I didn’t notice that it has 3 layers as a basic composition: espresso, hot milk, and milk foam [wikipedia] until today. I just got the idea how it differs from caffe latte that I found to have more milk and less foam. Well, it doesn’t really matter to me. It does for my stomach. My digestion is getting more sensitive to the ingredients. Cappuccino and I aren’t made for each other, indeed. I don’t know how much longer I can survive with this cappuccino sensation. 

After two weeks, I am almost sure that cappuccino, like other forms of coffee, does very little to good feeling I expected to have although I got my homework, tasks, and quizzes done on time. Next week I probably back to my very nature: chocolates in all figures. They always serve me better.

I have been dreaming of having a cozy library all of my life. It will be my studio, my home entertainment, my café, and my relaxing box. The library will have me in its details. The dream’s coming true in some ways. I have an extra room in front part of my house. Do you read that? MY HOUSE, all with capital letters. No big deal for many people, but it is for me. It costs all of our money even money we don’t posse. We’re officially a debtor right now.

Aris is still struggling with fresh money to finance the renovation. However, I much more concern about the studio and my Kaylia’s corner. I plan to paint the studio in ivory color and a bit Francesca red since I want it to be a warm and energetic place. Think I'll provide a nice couch and a beautiful desk lamp inside. The internet network will be available, too. Kaylia’s corner, a corner inside the house, will be red and green (neon light). It feels good to imagine the result.

Digital library? Still a long way to go.  Here is the site of a children digital library I like: http://www.icdlbooks.org

Right after the test, the 4 of us dined at Pizza Hut in front of Atrium Plaza Senen. We ended up in a terrible hunger before my regular fettucini finally showed up at 3 pm. We dismissed the dish in less than 5 minutes.  When the pizza came, Mei and I have already fed up and each only took a small slice and a couple of chicken wings. Mega didn’t help much with the remains. Dony, who almost fainted during the test, took the “scrap” home, absolutely.

I bought a nice white shirt, two t-shirts for Kaylia (printed with the famous Harry Potter and 12 dancing Princesses), and an Indonesian mixed-up songs CD Kaylia have asked me for some weeks. It was 4.30 pm when I decided to give up my initial plan to see The Holiday at TIM 21 that Friday.

The next day, I woke up with weary head. I made an appointment with Melbourne Business School representatives at 9.30 am at Menara Mulia. At least, I know where I am heading to if the merciless, mean, and dollar-demanding US b-schools don’t want me. Mr. Toohey and Mrs. Denok were open and kind to inform all things we need to know before going there. Gita felt a big relieve when Mrs. Denok told us they have some Risk Management courses under Economics & Commerce Department.

After a brief lunch at Pasar Festival foodcourt, where I witnessed a pageant show parading girls range from 3 years of age to 17’s for whom I am deeply sorry, I flew to Carrefour to buy this month’s routines. Aris and I also bought some DVDs.

Kaylia is crazy about “Heart” so we watched it over and over again that afternoon. Tired with the tears shed in the movie, I proposed another film, “Dealova”, but she liked it only when there are basket ball game scenes. So, she changed the disk with Harry Potter movie I’ve never had time to watch before: The prisoner of Azkaban. Late in the night, after the English Premiere League game between MU and Fulham, I finally joined Cameron Diaz and Kate Winslet in their holiday.

To complete my perfect weekend, we hang out all day at my parents in law then enjoyed our fave TV cinema JomBlo in Sunday night. My book provider : http://www.inibuku.com email me to offer some new books. I plan to buy a new published book Travelers' Tale, written by Aditya Mulya, the writer of "Jomblo". Think that laughing is a perfect method to heal my dissapointment.

Even though nothing specific happened when I was 18, there were 3 facts that marked my identity seeking process.

 #1. I was a basket ball freak. No doubt I made comments about the game so much better than did it myself. Low score (if not zero score), pathetic 3-point shootings, wrong passing, and remarkable assists (it happened few time) were my stamps. I could take it, as long as I was in the team. Out of 10 scale my talent stopped at 4, my physical form at 2 (no pro player is shorter than 6 feet in height, I assumed), my precision at 5, my courage at 4, and the only over-5 scale was my spirit. I gave my self 6.5. I didn’’t make significant progress after high school. So, I was amazed when the basket ball club at my office called for my hands in our banking sport competition. We starved for real players who know how to play. Our women basket ball team is like our national soccer team. We failed to make 11 players out of 220 millions of population playing the game like they suppose to.

#2. I was crazy about a flawed guy next door at school. We were born on the same day so I thought we got connection, or at least something in common to start with. My friends said I was nut because among the many, how could I turn my eyes on him ? He was known to be a rulebreaker (later a heartbreaker), one of school brat pack, neither brilliant nor high achiever. The best scene was when he was playing the guitar. He was totally amazing. The more I was fond of him, the more my friends assured me that I needed a psycho treatment. Stubbornly, my love went on without his notice. The point was: he never knew I was a human being who lived in the same world.

#3. I was failed to get into ITB.  I was crying all night when I didn’t find my number on the list.  I never thought about other college so I didn’t prepare for that kind of failure. Fortunately, my high school best friend, Ade, had successfully forced me to go on admission in ITENAS a month earlier. In case things don’t go the way you want, at least you do have a school to go into, she said. Then the rest was history. Instead of joining thousands of the best high school graduates in the country, I ended up sitting in my ITENAS classrooms in Tenth Building. Well, it was not so bad after all. 4 and a half years there was terrific. I found my long lasting friends there. Remember Joe ? I met her in my 18s, the first day at ITENAS,  and I am still with her in my 30s.

At 18, I didn't know what I would become. Adulthood seemed so far, let alone thinking about married life. It is obvious that Fajar's wife knew it better. She had started her long life career as a wife yet not giving up her other dreams. She's got her life at 18. It's already an achievement.

The Duke MBA

can get

you there.

You won’t get what you don’t dream. From last Christmas, the Duke will be my target. I don’t know how to get in there but if this is what I really want [I mean really want] then I have to get dressed for it from now on. Just hope the Katrina hurricane will not show up again.

Tell us a tale

of Team Fuqua.

“The biggest surprise

when I arrived at Duke

was how much energy

and initiative the

students demonstrate.

Going to class is never

enough—they’re always

doing more. Students planned a trip last

fall to help with the Hurricane Katrina

cleanup efforts. They launched several new

clubs this year. They have set up mentoring

programs, tutoring programs, job search

teams—the list goes on and on. There is a

basic desire at Duke to help one another,

to help the program, and to help others in

need. I have never seen anything else like it.”

—Gary Trendel ’07

Manchester, NH, USA